Category Archives: Uncategorized

I think the worst thing i have problems with is thinking.  Too many opinions in one head.  I can not keep any one opinion or mood long before it changes.  Something that i clearly feel one way about, can  change … Continue reading →

This week has been a very challenging time.  I found myself at a train station waiting for the through train, as i pondered whether to jump.  Yet again totally alone.  Everyone thinks so little of me, but i find myself … Continue reading →

I have lost control again and retreated.  The constant barrage from family has taken it’s toll.  Yesterday was a bad day.  I was desperate and had no one and regret my decision to call back the splits to deal with … Continue reading →

I move 120 miles away 9 years ago and now they have found me.  I do not want to make amends or ‘talk’ about things.  I am very sorry a family member is dying but the responsibility to make her … Continue reading →

I have never felt more alone than today.  I have had a phone call to say that my aunt has hours to live and she has asked for me.  She lives 120 miles away, but that is not the reason … Continue reading →

I have managed to get through the day, yet again, pretending everything is fine.  I haven’t slept yet and don’t think I have had more than couple of hours each night for over a week now.  Something is clearly on … Continue reading →

Has anything significant ever happened to you and you find that you just want to tell those closest to you and when you turn around they are not there?  Small things in our lives are important to us and I … Continue reading →

I can not get my head around the concept of hugging someone.  Apart from the obvious I hate people touching me issues, I just don’t understand what can be gained from it. A good hug results in oxytocin “bonding hormone” flow, … Continue reading →

I can’t stand this.  I am lying to myself and that has to be the worst thing anyone can do.  People need to realise what their capabilities are and living in some fake existence because it sounds good, is not … Continue reading →

After taking the meds for a few days, the splits have gone and I really miss them.  I have been speaking to a friend and discussed it at length and have made the decision to stop taking the meds again. … Continue reading →